Strahd's Domain

You can't always take Ravenloft so seriously so here's a page of things which I've made and done to add a bit of humour to the otherwise dark world of Ravenloft!

Does anyone remember the children's gameshow of the early '90s called Knightmare? The font was the same as the Ravenloft one, which inspired this advert, and as for the players, they wore a helmet that looked like a huge bucket, so of course I took the knight in Knightmare and made it our very own Ravenloft/Dragonlance bucket-head, Lord Soth.

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Now most people are familiar with the American sitcom 'Friends'. Well if you remove the 'r' you get Fiends! OK, so that was obvious, but I wondered how great a sitcom of Ravenloft characters would be. Can't you see it now?! Click here to get your very own 'Fiends' desktop wallpaper below, courtesy of yours truly!

Are you familiar with The Sims 2? How about its second expansion pack, Nightlife? In this add-on, your Sims can meet and become vampires and need to sleep in coffins during the day! I went a bit crazy and built myself a little house (didn't have the money for a castle!) and made the happy vampiric duo, Strahd and Jander:

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Strahd is one to be respected and looked up to so if there is something to own which makes you respectable, Strahd would own it. Alone on his dark nights, when not listening to his autobiography in audiobook format, he's getting down to some of Barovia's finest musical talent (probably Vistani!). How better to be trendy and enjoy music simultaneously than to buy the new iStrahd?

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You will never hear Girls Aloud in the same light again after singing along to 'No Good Advice' with my new lyics...

Tatyana

Father told me look into the future,

Find someone to marry: my type of girl.

And mother said be careful who you choose;

Not someone to young or hair that’s in curls.

 

Well now I’ve found the girl of all my dreams:

A pretty girl whom I love with all my soul.

But my little bro Sergei is dating her,

And now I’m slowly losing control!

 

BRIDGE:

Here you go, wedding gift, for my little bro,

And I stab Sergei in the heart right through though.

Here I am, bloody hands, couldn’t give a damn.

You make no sound but give such a show!

 

CHORUS:

I need your Tatyana,

Though she’s no longer yours!

You should excuse my manners:

Sucked dry – you drop to the floor!

I then find Tatyana,

To add sympathising.

No one thinks it is my fault,

You anaesthetise me!

 

(INSTURMENTAL)

 

But Tatyana couldn’t live without you,

That was the last straw – annoyed me so much!

I was doomed the vampire that I am now,

And I just didn’t have that Sergei touch!

 

I lost my temper and made her insane,

I loved her too much – didn’t want her dead.

But I get her back every few decades,

To Sergei, I remember what I said…

 

BRIDGE:

Here you go, wedding gift, for my little bro.

And I stab Sergei in the heart right through though.

Here I am, bloody hands, couldn’t give a damn.

You make no sound but give such a show!

 

CHORUS:

I need your Tatyana,

Though she’s no longer yours!

You shoulda excused my manners:

Sucked dry you dropped to the floor!

I then found Tatyana,

To add sympathising.

No one thought it was my fault,

You anaesthetised me!

 

(INSTRUMENTAL)

 

CHORUS:

I need my Tatyana,

Though she may not love me…

She’s now a girl called Anna,

Or so Jander believes.

I need Tatyana’s love,

But she doesn’t want me!

Damn Sergei to the Nine Hells!

Always upstaging me!

 

I need my Tatyana,

But no – she’s now claimed by Jander!

Why can’t I find a spell of love?

Haven’t I yet tried hard enough?

Why did Sergei give up priesthood?

Just cos he promised that he would?

I’m over that – I feel fine…

Cos Tatyana will be mine!

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The same applies for Busted, when you hear how Strahd might sing 'Crashed The Wedding'!

Crashed The Wedding

 

I hate Sergei so much

He has a loving touch

He found a girl that way

And now it has come to their wedding day

 

But she’s so right for me

My brother disagrees

She’s so easy to please

Shame that Sergei’s so trusting of me

 

Now she’s mine

 

And I’m glad I crashed their wedding

It’s better than regretting

She could’ve married my brother

Would’ve been a disaster

In love I am the true master

 

True love lasts forever

But we can’t live on together

Cos the Mists just came and took her

But looking back

I’m glad I crashed the wedding

 

Sergei told me the news

And filled were all of the pews

I had to save her soon

She’d forget about him, see me and swoon

Then she’d be mine!

 

And I’m glad I crashed their wedding

It’s better than regretting

She could’ve married my brother

Would’ve been a disaster

Couldn’t save her any faster

 

True love lasts forever

But we can’t live on together

Cos the Mists just came and took her

But looking back

I’m glad I crashed the wedding

 

Don’t understand why

She saw love in him but not in me

She couldn’t have been thinking properly

But now it’s time to make her see

 

It was right to crash the wedding

It’s better than regretting

 

My brother was too plain

I couldn’t take the pain

The whole thing was just so insane!

 

True love lasts forever (true love lasts forever)

But we can’t live on together

Now Sergei doesn’t know her

Cos he’s dead

Didn’t need to crash the wedding

 

It’s better than regretting (better than regretting)

My brother was too plain

I couldn’t take the pain

The whole thing was just so insane!

 

True love lasts forever (true love lasts forever)

But we can’t live on together

Now Sergei doesn’t know her

Cos he’s dead

 

I'm glad I stabbed my brother!