Strahd's Domain

Ever full of wit, dry humour and sarcasm, Strahd Von Zarovich has said a host of interesting and humorous things in the Ravenloft novels he features in. Here are some of my personal favourites with references. I, Strahd: The War Against Azalin is, in my opinion, the best for examples of Strahd's wit. I highly recommend that if you haven't already done so, you purchase that book as soon as you get the opportunity!

"Good evening, Ambassador Pargat." The prisoner started awake and mumbled something incomprehensible. Again Strahd frowned, hard lines creasing his face. "Is that the best you can do? I'm afraid it's not good enough by half." Ambassador Pargat began to whimper pitiably as the lord of Castle Ravenloft glided to his side. The vampire placed the candelabra on the floor, then stroked his chin in thought. "Ah," he exclaimed at last. "We've damaged your tongue have we?" He idly fingered the razor-edged silver blade that hung over Pargat's face. "I should have forseen this problem". ~ p123, Knight of the Black Rose (James Lowder)

She took one terrified look at the village, another at the body of a woman slumped near the well, then fastened herself around my legs and started wailing. Grief has its place and purpose but hers was a decided impediment to my urgent business. ~ p308, Tales of Ravenloft (Caretaker) (P. N. Elrod)

It is amazing what a little darkness and a few thrown stones (and a severed head) from an unknown foe can achieve. ~ p31, I, Strahd: The War Against Azalin (P. N. Elrod)

She was a clever one, though she had underestimated me. While others who shared my nature might be weakened by the stench of garlic, I was immune to it. How good to know Eva could make an error. ~ p53-54, I, Strahd: The War Against Azalin (P. N. Elrod)

[Strahd] "My people do not have much in way of coin, and you are inviting me to let you carry what there is of it away with you." [Eva] "Only a few coppers here and there-" [Strahd] "Which add up. What you offer in the way of entertainment and goods is subject to taxation here." [Eva] "Taxation!" she nearly shouted. [Strahd] "Only a few coppers here and there." ~ p55, I, Strahd: The War Against Azalin (P. N. Elrod)

"I am the Law"

"I am the Land"

"I am the Ancient"

"I am Barovia"

"I am the First Vampire"

[Eva] "We are a poor people, and when money is scarce, then do we trade. Instead of paying taxes while here, we could be in your service." [Strahd] "A vague term, madam." Having her whole tribe up to the castle twice a week to clean the place was something I categorically refused to visualise." ~ p57, I, Strahd: The War Against Azalin (P. N. Elrod)

It was the card known as "The Darklord", showing a twisted bestial figure on a throne. The colors were sombre purples, blacks and greens. She frowned at it and looked at me. "This represents you, the ruler of Barovia." "Not very flattering," I commented. ~ p63, I, Strahd: The War Against Azalin (P. N. Elrod)

I feared she might break down to tears, but fortunately she collected herself and spared us that minor embarrassment. ~ p76, I, Strahd: The War Against Azalin (P. N. Elrod)

"I see I underestimated you, Strahd," he [Azalin] said warily. "It is a common mistake." ~ p95, I, Strahd: The War Against Azalin (P. N. Elrod)

Though stimulating company, to say the least, he is rather like having a tame bear about the castle... an amusing novelty - until it decides to turn on you. ~ p105, I, Strahd: The War Against Azalin (P. N. Elrod)

If the death was justified, I let things stand. If not, then the perpetrators were issued an invitation to come inspect my dungeons at Castle Ravenloft. The more intelligent ones always elected to kill themselves outright... ~ p107, I, Strahd: The War Against Azalin (P. N. Elrod)

[Ilka] "A word of advice - do not abuse this privilege. Some things are meant to be private." [Strahd] "Madam, I am not accustomed to peering through bedroom windows and I am not likely to do so." ~ p117, I, Strahd: The War Against Azalin (P. N. Elrod)

Azalin made it very clear that if he was to have any success at all in finding an escape for us he would need a properly equipped working area, or laboratory as he called it, an unfamiliar word to me, though the route of "labor" helped to clarify its meaning. He made no secret of his opinion that my own chambers in Castle Ravenloft were wholly inadequate to the task. If his purpose was to annoy me he did not succeed. I came to expect the worst from him at all times, therefore he was hard pressed to surprise me with petty complaints. Besides, I had the idea that much of his criticism was derived from some deeply hidden pang of inadequacy within. Cavilling away on this point or that was probably how he made himself feel better, irksome for me to listen to, but if that was part of the price of my freedom, then so be it. ~ p120-121, I, Strahd: The War Against Azalin (P. N. Elrod)

Somehow the picture of him in mountain climbing gear precariously dangling from a rope, his illusionary robes flapping around his ears in the wind while trying to cast a spell, wasn't one I thought I would ever witness in reality. ~ p 142, I, Strahd: The War Against Azalin (P. N. Elrod)

[Strahd] "Are you quite done feeding your conceit or am I supposed to remain staring at the carpet all night?" I asked, sounding quite thoroughly bored. [Azalin] "Why do you not fight me?" He was almost purring, quite a feat with that harsh voice of his. "It is not worth the effort." He released his restriction on me, and my view expanded to include him again. I would have really preferred the carpet; it was much less overdressed. ~ p238, I, Strahd: The War Against Azalin (P. N. Elrod)

[Strahd] "I do have a question to ask: are you trapped within this land as I am within my own?" He [Azalin] met this with silence, his red gaze burning at me. Answer enough. "I thought as much." "You don't think at all, Von Zarovich." Since he had already been reduced to simplistic, petty jibes I knew my deduction was correct. ~ p239, I, Strahd: The War Against Azalin (P. N. Elrod)

"I have a lot more important matters to concern me - such as the rule of Darkon," he [Azalin] stated loftily. He pointed at his chest with a gloved hand. "I am absolute lord here." [Strahd] "Congratulations, it must be very gratifying." [Azalin] "All of Darkon acknowledges my lordship without question." [Strahd] "Are you complaining about your population's lack of intelligence? You'll get no sympathy from me." ~ p240, I, Strahd: The War Against Azalin (P. N. Elrod)

"That should be amusing. How do you plan to lead an army across a boundary you yourself cannot pass? Or will we just settle for standing within sight of each other and hurl abuse while doing a bit of fist-shaking? It might provide for an evening's entertainment..." ~ p240, I, Strahd: The War Against Azalin (P. N. Elrod)

I saw him [Azalin] in reality for the first time in many decades, and the passage of time had done nothing to improve his looks, quite the contrary. ~ p243, I, Strahd: The War Against Azalin (P. N. Elrod)

[Azalin] "Look upon me and despair!" I waited until the paroxysm had passed so that my inner voice would be strong again, then put another note of boredom into it. "Except for the gaudy robes - which I also suspect to be illusion - you're still no more than a dressed-up version of one of your own zombies... slightly more cognizant, of course, I'll give you that much, but hardly worth inspiring me to despair." ~ p243, I, Strahd: The War Against Azalin (P. N. Elrod)

Strahd's treatment of the woman [Magda] on the way to the tower had been cold at best, openly contemptuous at times. When Azrael had noted that they were short on supplies, the count had led them on a detour to a lonely farmhouse near the fork of the River Luna. There Magda and the dwarf were openly ordered to present themselves as Strahd's agents. The peasants knew that anyone possessing the lord's seal had to be granted whatever they requested; all the pair had to do was ask for the food, clothing, and weapons they required. When Magda balked at the notion of taking food from people who likely had little to spare, Strahd flew into a rage. ~ p223, Knight of the Black Rose (James Lowder)